My son, he is my heart and soul. We may bicker, we may not get along, but we certainly belong to, with, and for each other. We have struggled and battled back and forth these past six and a half years, it has at times felt incredibly painful. And yet, he is my love child, he is my healer, my firstborn. He has often felt a bit like a science experiment! I remember vividly the first time I laid my eyes on him. I was smitten by this veritable ball of speed and energy. He didn’t say much but you could see him light up brilliantly every time you gave him your focus. He came with me, no questions asked. No answers required. He just took it as it came. And he never looked back. He was mine from that day although it took many months for me to be ready to own it. We flew home with this boy we didn’t know and he never cried, not even once. He held me, slept in my arms for hours, giggled and played and entertained people sitting around us. Then we got home and had to face the fact that we had no earthly idea what to do with this bright beam of light. And it feels like we are still flying by the seat of our pants. What do fifteen month old babies need? What do they eat? What toys should they have? What games should they play? Music? Types of beverages? Hotdogs ended up being his go to food group! This tiny man was such a mystery, a puzzle to be figured. He never cried, but he screamed. He had no boundaries, but needed them. He didn’t do “baby talk”, but he didn’t speak. He never climbed out of his crib. He never climbed over a baby gate. He was always in my arms but never really affectionate. So, we took parenting classes, complete with videos shot in the eighties! We answered every question he asked, never stifle curiosity you know. He was really an easy baby. He slept most of the day and night, was rarely sick, ate like a champ, and never cried. What more could a person ask for? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Now at almost eight, he is a force to be reckoned with. He is hilarious, I have no idea where he gets his material but he is a riot. He is brilliant, very energetic, and still wants to sit on my lap! And he is still so entangled within my soul that I stay up for hours trying to figure out where he begins and I end. I have a sneaky suspicion that I may be very old and grey before I solve that one!
Monthly Archives: August 2013