Tag Archives: slum lord

New Dream: Slum Lording.

I had never spent much time wishing to be a slum lord. Actually, no time would be more accurate. That is until 4 days ago. I saw an apartment building on “the strip” of my town listed for $75K. 3 units- each 3 bedrooms, about 1000 square feet with off street parking and walk out basements. Two units are currently rented for $750 a month and one unit was just sitting there empty, waiting for my family to move in! I am going to be a building manager, people!!! The best land lord this side of some river. I’m picking out paint colors and planning to refinish hardwood floors. THEN, the Quicken man just shot me down. That was harsh (and very short lived…)! Just as I was firming up my (mental) plans, they ground to halt. Apparently, 3 bedroom apartment buildings are classified as “investment properties” and do not therefore qualify for the first time home buyer program. I erroneously assumed that if I was going to live in one of the units for the minimum required length of time (one year), that it would qualify. I actually had let myself slip down the rabbit hole far enough to plan to change the building rules to exclude the use of the backyard. That way, at the end of the 12 months, I could build my tiny home in the backyard and rent out all three units. Solid plan. Shot down. Bumming. People seem able to take my ideas away from me as soon as I generate then. This could get me down, yes it could. I could actually sink into a deep depression and need medication. Thankfully, I am like the unsinkable Molly Brown. I’m like cream, always rise to the top. One chapter ends, I write another. Novel ends, I turn it into a series. Yes, with in moments I came up with plan 1,658. By a camper of course! Duh!!! Just buy a camper! I swear I heard the angels sing (more likely the lazy drone of fall insects, but whatever). I think, lets buy a gutted camper (read- super cheap) and rebuild it like those ones in the blogs I read. So I haul the husband and children an hour away to look at one. No go. The hubs cannot see my vision. Undaunted, I find another craigslist ad and put my kids back in the car and head an hour in the opposite direction. This time, I can generate no vision for this terribly overpriced and rotted out caravan. My three year old told the owner that his camper was not pretty. It was that bad, even a three year old could tell. Again, I could allow myself to succumb to the crushing disappointment. But, undaunted I press on!!! One more ad. This time only 20 minutes away. Buckle in my kids, who no longer ever want to see a camper let alone live in one. They refuse to even go in this one. On the other hand, my husband and I just looked in the door and we just know. We just know that this is the one. I don’t even need to go inside, I don’t need to ask any questions. It was love at first sight. I love it like I loved my Mallard. My husband loves it more that the Mallard. We bought it. That was step one. Step two: Figure out how in the world to transport this 36′ long hunk of awesome. Step 3: Find a place to transport it to. Step 4: Build bunk beds in it for the kids and install a wood stove. If you want to ask me what my plan is, I say, “Slow down! One step at a time! Sheesh, everyone is always in such a hurry!”
PS. I assure you that the irony is not lost on me. In the span of 4 days, I was going to be a slum lord and went to look at a 3000 square foot “investment property”. I then planned to renovate a gutted camper into an awesome off grid, rain collecting, eco trailer. After discarding that vision, I went an bought an enormous, beautiful, gorgeous, amazing 288 square foot pent house! Again, I say, just be patient. If you aren’t living one of your dream lives today, just go to sleep. Dream something different. If that doesn’t pan out, take a nap. If you generate dreams relentlessly, you are bound to end up living your dreams over and over again. Don’t get hung up on one dream. That could be foolish and result in the need for medication. Keep dreaming people. Keep dreaming.

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